Refusing to Surrender

When you have gotten used to sadness, sometimes returning to it bestows you with a sense of comfort. You may find yourself welcoming the familiarity of its gloomy embrace. For if sadness is all that you have known then perhaps happiness is a stranger to you. You may even experience a sense of incredulity whenever elation hits you simply because it is a feeling so alien. When happiness does come, you may find yourself asking, ‘is this for real?’ 

Refusing to live without happiness!

You may have once believed that you could seek it and perhaps possess its lasting form. But up until now it still eludes you. For many, happiness may seem fleeting. If happiness has never been your constant companion, then you may not even recognize it when it comes.  Yet others are consumed by the belief that real and constant happiness exists. They frantically go about enjoying this or buying that in desperate attempts to possess it. But what if one day you realize that happiness cannot be constant or if real joy was never meant to exist? 

The only thing certain is that human beings are driven by the need to survive. All life is programmed that way. Whether or not your survival brings with it some joy is not part of the equation of life. However, the decision to keep on surviving may depend upon whether you see happiness as your end goal. 

Is it really about self preservation at any cost?

Life can be tiring. Perhaps you may find yourself pretending that you are okay. Maybe you do this for people who rely on you. Or you put up a cheerful facade because you do not wish others to witness your melancholy. But doing so can drain you further. Emotional fatigue may set in. And the temptation to surrender becomes more real.

Sadness is life’s constant. You cannot escape it. All you can do is hope that happiness will come someday. And it is that hope that keeps you going even when life crushes you. Hold on to hope, for when love disappears and faith falters it is all that will remain. And the power of hope brings with it the strength to endure, the courage to overcome and the will to be victorious.


Frederick Fabella, PhD is a research director, a dean and a graduate and undergraduate professor in the Philippines. He is the author of Transcendence: Essays for Personal Reflection. His blog can be found at Meanings and Perceptions.

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