Autumn: A Time for Reaping Love
By Timothy Olsen
Edited by Kenneth Green
Autumn Is Coming Yall!
It’s hard to believe that Autumn is just a little over a month away, but it is. This year, Fall will start on September 22nd, although for many of us we’ll start to feel the cool weather a little sooner. Soon, the leaves on the trees will start to change color, the days will get a little bit shorter, and we’ll want to spend time closer to our loved ones if just to stay a bit warmer.
Why does the time of Harvest inspire Love?
Some may feel that fall is a time of Harvest, and rightly so, but I’d like to take a moment to suggest we look at it as a time we can sow the fruits of love and respect with those we either intend to spend the rest of our lives with, or have already pledged to do so. A lot of people feel that a relationship is a natural thing that blossoms eternally, but I’ve learned that if you don’t put in the work, you might come to a point where the leaves naturally fall off, and all that is left is a barren tree. Even with this, though, a little sunlight and water coupled with some patients can turn things around again.
I’ll be doing two posts on this topic thanks to the blessing of my dear friend Kenneth Green. This first part will be about ensuring you are making time with your loved ones, and ways to grow in that time. The second part will be about bolstering the foundation so that the relationship can continue to grow in time.
It’s Cuddle Season, So Bring Your Blanket!
(“If a year was tucked inside of a clock, then Autumn would be the magic hour.” -Victoria Erickson”
Some of us are so busy that we let our loved ones fall to the wayside. We put them off, barely making time for a quick hug or a kiss. Maybe we sent a few texts, but don’t make real quality time together. Decide to change that. Make your intentions clear, and then make them a priority. Tell your spouse “I intend to spend more time with you” and then actually do it. There are some partners who may find this more bold and jarring that they’d like, but the result is a pledge to make time together, as opposed to just a wish that you could. The two of you could do something passive together, like watching a show on Netflix, or something more active, like sharing your favorite drink together as you unwind and catch up.
Make a Place That’s Comfortable!
(“And the sun took a step back, the leaves lulled themselves to sleep, and Autumn was awakened.” -Raquel Franco.”
You should have an idea of where you and your partner can spend some time together. For some, this may be somewhere like a living room couch, or a bedroom. For others, this may be a favorite bench at a park, or even in a car together. There doesn’t have to be just one spot, either. However, knowing where you can cuddle is an important part of the plan. Apparently, some thought must be put into this beforehand. For some, cuddling in the bedroom may encourage a partner to fall asleep, and that might not be beneficial. For others, spending time together in the kitchen may prove uncomfortable, or have distractions that can’t be easily mitigated. If you’re unsure, this might be something you can talk to your partner about.
This is an often overlooked part of spending time with your partner but think of your love and connection with your partner as a crop you’d wish to plant seeds to grow. You would need a place to plant those seeds, right? Saying “I’m going to plant these seeds” and then doing so, however, may be fun and spontaneous, but the idea here is that sustained time with your partner helps repair the connection that erodes away from the day-to-day.
Keep It About The Two of You
(“Autumn… the year’s last, loveliest smile.” -William Cullen Bryant)
Be close to each other. Talk to each other. You don’t have to keep it light, although you should remember that the point of these sessions is to get closer to each other, and not to solve problems the two of you may be facing. It also doesn’t have to be about physical intimacy. In fact, for many couples, it may make sense for them to practice being close together without it being treated as foreplay. Make love with your words, with your closeness, with your hearts. Take a moment to appreciate each other. I know this may be difficult for some couples, who are more active and wish to do things together and grow in those things… But I still think it’s important, at least on some level, to make sure that the closeness of each other is the “thing” that can be grown in.
Above all else, take a moment to eliminate most of the distractions of the real world, and focus on the world the two of you build together every day with your words and actions. Commit to be together, as opposed to figuratively literally. From there, the two of you can learn and communicate what else you might need to grow as a couple, and the best way to move forward from there!